she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
