So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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