There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
