called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
