were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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