I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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