Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
