I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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