we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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