I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
