WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
