that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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