he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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