the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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