she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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