Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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