I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
