i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
and you fell through a lawn chair
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
