If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
