He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
