You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
