I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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