Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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