Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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