just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
