Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
