i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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