just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
