She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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