We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
