I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
