Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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