Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
