I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize