i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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