census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
