He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
