I'm gonna have a badass scar
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
