I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
