you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
