i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
