I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
