i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
my poor anus
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
