Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
