she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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