You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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