I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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