YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
