there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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