I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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