Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
