I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Welp...herpes.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
