That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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