i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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