.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
