Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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