I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if only i could text you this smell
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
