Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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