So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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