Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
