Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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