Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
