Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
